Saturday, February 11, 2012

I Don't Regret

Once upon a time, I wrote missionaries. I think at one point, I had like...10 missionaries I was writing. And I wrote most of them as friends. It was fun writing them. It was like gold in the mailbox when I actually got a letter, it was so exciting. But there were two special missionaries that were rather important to me.

One of those was my best friend. His name is blank. His brother, blanche, was my first date(my 16th birthday was on the night of prom of my sophomore year), and first real life boyfriend. I had had *boyfriends* before, but they weren't real(do not do online relationships), or official(thats a mess in that story). My relationship with blanche lasted about a month before I broke up with him to date the other missionary I'm going to write about. Anyway, in about August, blank and I really started talking to each other a lot and he became my best friend. We went on one date to a Jon Schmidt concert and Wendy's after. It was absolutely delightful. But we couldn't be anything more than friends because he was one, interested in another girl who had a missionary, and two, he left about a month after our date for his mission to Atlanta, Georgia. When he left, we were actually in this little fight, which I don't remember the reason for really. So I didn't write him till three months in. But as we wrote letters and emails to each other, I still depended on him for advice and a shoulder to cry on if needed. The girl he was interested in wrote him off because she got mad at him because he realized he had been lying about something to both of us, but I was able to forgive him. Anyway, when he came home, I was expecting to be able to talk to him normally again. BUT HE WOULDN'T TALK TO ME! It really got my angry because I had been counting down the days and was really looking forward to the day he came home and being able to hang with him and such. Now we hardly talk at all. At the time, it really hurt me because I had been so attached. But I've gotten over it in the two months he's been home :)

The second missionary who was important to me was my 2nd boyfriend. His name is red. We dated for the summer of 2009 and then I felt like I needed to break up with him, but I didn't want to. So he broke up with me so I wouldn't be so stressed out about it. Unfortunately, over the next year before he went on his mission, we would always try to hang out and get back together but it never worked out. The day his farewell talk came, I was still interested in him and so I went and went to the after party. It was so fun and nice. Then Monday comes around and he has this giant party with all his friends. So I go. And it was way super fun and nice and I kept getting these vibes that he liked me and whatnot. So he drove me home and we made out for an hour and both of us were crying. Like, I seriously went home and bawled. I missed that kid for the three months I was writing and waiting for him. I had crying fits and I was just so devoted to writing and waiting that it really surprised me when he wrote me off. We still write occasionally, but I haven't received a reply since I sent him a Christmas card at the beginning of December.

I really don't regret writing and waiting for them. I learned a lot, grew a lot, and became the person who I am now. The experience was totally worth it because now I can help other people who write and wait for missionaries. Plus, my current boyfriend had a Voldemort of a girlfriend who *waited* (long horrible story that makes me want to beat her up), that just works...

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